I'm Mobsnakes (real name Ethan). I'm the creator of this webpage.
Name: Ethan
Favorite Food: Rice
Favorite Drink: AriZona Green Tea
Games I Like: Touhou, Sonic,
Shows I Like: South Park, Azumanga Daioh, Lucky Star
Music I Like: Techno, Trance, Happy Hardcore
My life began in 1552 when I was born the illegimate son of a prince and a commoner woman. Since I was a bastard, my father the prince tried to cover up my existance by throwing me into the river. Fortunatly, I was found by a wizard who raised me as his own and taught me the ways of magik. I mastered many spells, including fire, ice, poison, and life extension (which is how I'm still alive)
One day, my adopted wizard father was killed by an asshole dragon. I vowed revenge. I went on a 15 year quest to find him. When I did, we had an epic battle and I slayed him with my own sword. After slaying the dragon, I was given a shit ton of gold by the king, which I used to buy the aformentioned castle.
After centuries of wandering searching for a purpose, I eventually ended up in China, where I learned martial arts from a high level Kung Fu Master. I then went to the mountains of Tibet to seek enlightenment.
Many years later, I ended up in the Russian Army during the Crimean War. My combat prowess was put to good use, but ultimatly it was a losing battle. During the battle of Sevastapol, I was captured by a French soldier.
I was brought to the French Emperor Napoleon III, who wanted to use my magic powers to take over the world. I, the wise and pious soul that I am, refused to use my powers for evil. He tried to force me but I escaped.
I ended up trapped on a boat headed to the Congo. On arrival, I was attacked by the sailors and nearly killed, but survived. I spent ten years wandering through the jungle, fighting off disease, wild animals, and starvation.
Eventually, I found my way to the Nile, where I was able to sail up the river, making a stop in Egypt where I explored the Pyramids, had some sexy encounters with belly dancers, and just barely escaped an ancient pharaoh's curse.
I got back to Europe, met up with Otto von Bismark, and fought in the Franco-Prussian war, finally getting revenge on Napoleon III. After that, I went on a spiritual quest in India, where I was mentored by a famous guru whos name I can't remember lol.
Anyway, some more bullshit happened and I ended up in the Yukon searching for gold. I didn't find any because I don't know shit about mining. But I did tame a bear there so that was cool.
Then, I honestly ran out of ideas so fuck it we're ending here